Healthy Habits for Healthy Families

The lives of children and teenagers can be complicated. Pressure from school, friends and parents can build to create an emotionally stressful environment, which can lead to unhealthy eating habits that continue into adulthood.

Luckily, parents and caregivers can help jumpstart and sustain a healthy lifestyle for children and adolescents. A healthy child begins with a healthy home, and helping your child make smart choices is the first step. As a parent or caregiver, you play the important role of guide and coach for your children as they make choices about eating. Generally, children choose foods that are served most often, are easily available, and are ready to be eaten. So, making it easier for your children and teens to reach for healthy snacks-like placing baby carrots in small bags on the last shelf of the refrigerator-is one way to encourage your children to eat more vegetables and less sugar.

Sometimes parents or caregivers use dessert as a reward for eating healthy. But using it or any junk food as a reward actually encourages unhealthy eating. Studies have shown that children whose parents use food to encourage positive behavior show increased preference for the food that is awarded. Healthy eating doesn't need to be a trick-children should look at healthy foods as tasty and desirable.

The act of eating is almost as important as the kind of foods you and your child consume. For example, research has shown that children who eat meals with their families at the dinner table have healthier diets. Kids communicate more with their parents when they have family meals. As a result, these children are better adjusted and are less likely to participate in risky behaviors. On the other hand, children who regularly watch TV during meals have less healthy diets, as do children who frequently eat out. Making dinner time a family event, even if the meal is simple healthy meal like a garden salad and grilled chicken, encourages a healthy attitude towards eating.

Most importantly, parents serve as role models for their children's healthy eating and are key agents in initiating behavior change around food. Also, making movement a cornerstone of your family's routine will encourage positive behavior change. Exercising as a family is a great addition to a healthy diet.

Tips to Promote a Healthy Child, Family and Home

• Ensure that the majority of the foods in your home are healthy. Substituting low-fat frozen yogurt and fruit for ice cream and sprinkles is a good example that eating healthy doesn't mean swearing off desserts.
• Model healthy eating patterns. Children learn by modeling-children who see their parents or caregivers buying, cooking, and eating healthy food are more apt to eat healthy foods themselves.
• Avoid the use of food as a reward. Food shouldn't be used as a measure of good behavior. Having a system that makes junk food a reward for good deeds promotes the wrong idea that healthy food is not as appealing as junk food or that it's not something to look forward to.
• Have meals as a family. Family meals are not only a good opportunity to share in your children's lives, they also are the perfect venue to talk about healthy eating habits and engage your children in conversations about what a healthy meal looks and tastes like.
• Limit the frequency of eating out. Not only is eating out expensive, it can also be unhealthy. Not knowing what goes into the food you are served makes it difficult to help your child choose something that is nutritious and appropriately sized.

"A healthy family environment is a major part of having a healthy child," says psychologist Dr. Mary Alvord. "Making the healthy choice the easiest choice will help increase the overall well-being for everyone in your family"

Source: American Psychological Association (Updated May 2009)
Special thanks to psychologists Jana Martin, PhD, Kirsten Davison, PhD and Mary Alvord, PhD for their help in writing this article.

Healthy Summer Habits

Finishing school, starting camp, and looking forward to family vacations all make summer exciting for children. However, tough economic times have forced many families to postpone or cancel summer plans, disappointing children who were looking forward to the yearly family trip or other summertime activities. Cutting back on family budgets does not have to mean cutting back on fun, nor do fun family activities have to break the bank. Summer vacation is an ideal opportunity for families to share in healthy activities, increase physical activity, and make a greater effort to eat right.

"Summer is a great time for a mid-year resolution," says Dr. Katherine Nordal, the executive director for professional practice at the American Psychological Association. "Making physically and emotionally healthy decisions for your children and family is a positive way to start the summer and prepare for the coming school year."

Raising a child with healthy eating and activity habits is now more important than ever. According the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 17 percent of children are classified as overweight or obese in the United States. Changing behaviors around food and activity is a sometimes difficult, but doable process for parents. Making a commitment to having a healthy family will help children avoid the emotional pain and physical limitations that can come with being overweight.

Activities, such as playing Frisbee as a family or making healthy meals that you and your child cook together, are examples of some ways to put a fun spin on a choosing a healthier lifestyle.

"Children need a commitment from parents and caregivers to help them give up unhealthy behaviors and make more active and healthy choices." says Dr. Nordal. "And taking time to enjoy activities as a family is important to the entire family's emotional health. Spending time together taking walks or riding bikes around the neighborhood or going to the community pool as a family are all healthy ways to reduce stress and anxiety and build stronger family relationships."

Source: American Psychological Association

Strategies For Mothers To Handle Stress

Mothers in the "sandwich generation," ages 35-54, feel more stress than any other age group as they balance the demanding, delicate acts of caring for growing children and their aging parents, according to the American Psychological Association's 2007 Stress in America survey. And while nearly two-in-five men and women in this age group feel overextended, the survey reveals that more women than men report experiencing extreme stress and say they manage their stress poorly.

Nearly 40 percent of those aged 35 -54 report extreme levels of stress (compared to 29 percent of 18-34 years old and 25 percent of those older than 55). This stress takes a toll not only on personal relationships-83 percent say relationships with their spouse, children and family is the top source of their stress-but also on their own well-being as they struggle to take better care of themselves. It's a good practice for moms and their families to recognize the importance of addressing stress and managing it in healthy ways.

"It's not surprising that so many people in that age group are experiencing stress," says psychologist Katherine Nordal, Ph.D., executive director for professional practice, American Psychological Association. "The worry of your parents' health, and your children's well-being as well as the financial concern of putting kids through college and saving for your own retirement is a lot to handle."

Tips for Managing Stress:

• Identify stressors-What events or situations trigger stressful feelings? Are they related to your children, family health, financial decisions, work, relationships or something else?
• Recognize how you deal with stress-Are you using unhealthy behaviors to cope with the stress of supporting your children and parents, and is this specific to certain events or situations? Put things in perspective-make time for what's really important. Prioritize and delegate responsibilities. Identify ways your family and friends can lessen your load so that you can take a break. Delay or say no to less important tasks.
• Find healthy ways to manage stress-Consider healthy, stress-reducing activities-taking a short walk, exercising, or talking things out with friends or family. Keep in mind that unhealthy behaviors develop over time and can be difficult to change. Focus on changing only one behavior at a time.
• Take care of yourself-Eat right, get enough sleep, drink plenty of water and engage in regular physical activity like walking or yoga or your weekly softball game. Keep in contact with your friends, family members. No matter how hectic life gets, you need to take care of yourself-which includes making time for yourself-so you have the mental and physical energy to care for your parents and children.
• Ask for professional support-Accepting help from supportive friends and family can improve your ability to persevere during stressful times. If you continue to be overwhelmed by stress or the unhealthy behaviors you use to cope, you may want to talk with a psychologist who can help you address the emotions behind your worries, better manage stress and change unhealthy behaviors.

Mothers often put their family needs first and neglect their own. Mothers need to manage their stress for their own health benefits, and also for those around them. How a mother manages stress is often a model for the rest of the family. Other family members will imitate her unhealthy behavior.

Source: American Psychological Association

Talking With Children About Stress

According to a recent survey by the American Psychological Association (APA), many Americans - both adults and youth - experience high levels of stress. Adults can more readily identify feelings and causes of stress, and consider ways to manage it. Young people, however, may not recognize signs of stress or know how to respond effectively. Parents can offer valuable assistance and provide empathy and understanding. By knowing what to listen to and watch for and by seeking out opportunities to engage in conversation with children of all ages, parents can help their children to better manage life challenges.

Tips on talking with your children about stress:

1.  Be Available

• Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk - for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car - and be fully available to just listen.
• Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives.
  Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other activities during that time.
• Learn about your children's interests - for example, favorite music and activities - and show interest in them.

• Initiate conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about, or what other kids may be thinking about, rather than beginning a conversation with a question.

2.  Listen Actively

• When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen.
• Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.
• Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear.
• Let them complete their point before you respond.
• Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.

• Realize that your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk and they may share the rest of the story.

3.  Respond Thoughtfully

• Soften strong reactions - kids will tune you out if you appear angry or defensive.
• Express your opinion without minimizing theirs - acknowledge that it's okay to disagree.
• Resist arguing about who is right. Instead say, "I know you disagree with me, but this is what I think."
• Focus on your child's feelings rather than your own during your conversation.
• Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, help in dealing with feelings or assistance in solving a problem.

4. Consider

• Kids learn by watching their parents. Most often, they will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings. Help your kids to adopt healthy coping strategies by modeling positive behaviors.
• Engage the family in stress-reducing activities, such as taking a family walk, riding bikes or dancing together.
• Young children may express feeling of stress or worry in their play. Pay attention to themes in their conversations and activities to gain a good sense of their concerns. Teens and older children are often more involved with peers than family as part of developing their own identity. Significant avoidance of parents, however, may be a sign that a teen is distressed and may need assistance.
• Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous to themselves or others, don't feel you have to step in each time.
• Shielding children from possible causes of stress or anxiety, such as unemployment, a parent's marital problems or an illness in the family, can worsen a child's anxiety because children commonly assume a worse case scenario. Help by providing age-appropriate information.

If you have concerns that your child is experiencing considerable stress and the ideas are not sufficiently helping, seek advice from a licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist. Psychologists have specific training that can help both you and your child successfully manage overwhelming stress.

Source:  American Psychological Association
This tip sheet was made possible with help from APA members Mary Alvord, PhD, and David J. Palmiter, Jr., PhD, ABPP.

Tips for Reducing Caregiver Stress

Tips For Reducing Caregiver Stress

One day you may find that someone you care about - a spouse, parent, relative, or close friend - needs help negotiating the daily tasks of life. Perhaps that day has already come. Close to 49 million informal or family caregivers offer assistance of all sorts to adults in America, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. Their efforts are vital to the lives of people struggling with illness, disability, or the changes that often accompany aging.

The spectrum of tasks that unpaid caregivers undertake is truly vast. Some, such as grocery shopping and cooking, are familiar to us all. Giving injections, changing bandages, calming an agitated parent suffering from Alzheimer's disease, or helping a disabled partner get from the bed to the bathroom can be far more daunting. But through countless unheralded contributions like these, caregivers allow millions of Americans to continue to live as independently as possible.

Talking With Your Loved One
Discussing needs can be a prickly business. It may be easy for you to imagine what sort of help is necessary, but much harder to discuss it openly or come to an agreement with the person who needs care.

Ask the person in need of care to spell out what he or she believes would help. One way to open a conversation is to say: "I've wondered if you're having any trouble with _______." Or, "I've noticed it is getting harder for you to _______." If offers of help are flatly declined, you might call in a second opinion about the need for assistance. Try talking to the person's doctor or trusted relatives or friends. Their opinions may carry more weight than your own. Some doctors, particularly geriatricians, may be willing to schedule and attend a family conference to talk about what is needed. Geriatric care managers or social workers can also help facilitate these kinds of discussions and present a range of options.

Encourage forethought
Whenever possible, it helps enormously to plan ahead for certain types of assistance, such as good nursing home care and insurance coverage. You might start a conversation by saying: "I read about Medicaid planning in the news today. Do you know about this?"

Be sensitive
In many families, parents never talk to their children - even after they become adults - about finances or health problems. And it is hard to ask sensitive questions of a relative, spouse, or partner who already feels pressured from illness. Raising concerns about your own financial future can make it easier for you to ask your parent about his or her finances. The same tactic may work well for discussing end-of-life decisions. You may find that the person wants to acknowledge these issues. It can be a relief to talk frankly about troubling topics and share concerns rather than hiding them.

Honest talk for tough decisions
Certain topics - for instance, that an individual shouldn't be driving or that it's getting too difficult to continue caring for a person at home - are painful to discuss for everyone concerned. Even so, telling white lies or making promises that are impossible to keep can come back to haunt you.

No one ever wants to go to a nursing home, for example, but instead of pledging that this will never happen, it may be best to promise only that you will try hard to work out other solutions for as long as possible. If you know a nursing home is the best long-term option, it doesn't help to suggest that such a move is just for a few weeks. When those weeks are over, the reckoning and sense of betrayal are impossible to sidestep. It's better to acknowledge that these are hard, sad decisions replete with many layers of loss.

You might put these sentiments into your own words: "I know it's very hard to even think about moving to a nursing home. But we can't supply all the care you need anymore. I worry about you constantly, especially when I'm not available. I've tried really hard, but I can't keep everything going. We need to think about finding a place where you'll be safe and well cared-for all the time."

If appropriate, you might mention concerns about your own health and well-being or worries about what might happen if you become ill or unable to offer enough care. A single conversation is rarely sufficient. Let the person you are caring for grieve the loss. Moving toward a solution is likely to take time and several discussions.

One thing to keep in mind in situations where judgments might differ is that people are often willing to assume a level of risk to their safety or well-being in exchange for autonomy and personal choice. If a loved one chooses to live in a situation that seems too risky to you, you might need the help of a doctor to determine decision-making capacity. If your loved one can fully understand the consequences of his or her decisions then you must abide by them, whether you agree with them or not.

This information was provided by Harvard Health Publications.